2 cents

I’m reminded of the woman who gave all she had to the temple offering – 2 cents. While others snickered at her offering, Jesus called it out as an example. It wasn’t 50 gold coins to someone with 500. It wasn’t 20 silver coins to someone with 200. It was a woman with 2 cents who gave all that she had – an exhaustive gift.

Sometimes the gift can be in not-giving. I think sometimes we (including me) give our 2 cents of thoughts and advice too freely. Does the advice improve the relationship? You probably don’t want to continually “share you thoughts” with your spouse. That could be sleeping on the couch time. You probably don’t want to “share all your thoughts with your employer.” That could be searching for a new job time.

In my mind, I’ve worked out a method to gauge if it’s worth it … if I only had 2 cents would I spend it on this. Is the thought, comment, action worth 1 of my last 2 cents? I sometimes need a visual. At work, I have 2 cents on my desk to remind me. In big meetings, I put 2 cents in front of me to remind me … am I willing to use 1 of my 2 cents on this? When I need to listen more and talk less, I sometimes take it literally that I can only give unsolicited advice twice in the meeting. If I can only talk twice, am I willing to use it on this? It makes you double check that the comment will have the benefit that you first intended. Will it be taken that way? Is it worth it? Over time, I am getting my mind to work this way without the 2 cents being visually in front of me. I still keep it at my desk as a constant reminder.

THINGS TO REMEMBER: If you only had 2 cents, is sharing that thought, comment, action worth 1 of your last 2 cents?

Permission

With having a new baby, it’s harder for me to do everything that I once did. Working long hours, sleeping in on weekends, working out 6 days a week, volunteering as much, fancier cooking, any baking, traveling, and so much more. My family has always been my first priority and it just needs more time now. A lot more time.

There were always things that I “didn’t have time for.” Cleaning the house more often, tending to the lawn more frequently, corresponding with more far away friends, blogging, reading that book for pleasure or work, and more. I don’t let these things weigh me down anymore. I give myself permission with no self-guilt trips or second thoughts. It’s a conscious decision. I give myself permission to pick up my son from daycare and spend time with him instead of going to a work happy hour. Sometimes I give myself permission for the happy hour. I give myself permission to blog during lunch 1-2 days a week instead of going out to lunch or working through lunch.

I have 2 friends from separate parts of the country. Recently, they both used that same phrase too – “I give myself special permission.” Kirsten will admit that she’s more comfortable “doing it herself.” Delegating is nice but it’s easier for her to do it herself – team of 1. Over time, she has felt the consequences – stress, not able to do as much as she wanted, not always the best person, running late which affects others, and more. She now gives herself permission to ask for help. It is definitely a conscious decision (and against her nature). She’s not able to rewire herself to be fully comfortable so she gives herself permission. This has reduced her stress and made her feel that she’s accomplishing more.

Shawn owns a consulting business. He’s a great guy, level-headed, and a big F (Feeler) in Myers-Briggs terms. He doesn’t want to impose on people. Yet he needs to sell his services. Shawn gives himself permission to ask people to buy his services. This is helping to make him more successful.

THINGS TO REMEMBER: Sometimes you need give yourself permission. You accept the consequences and path chosen and not chosen. Consciously choosing to give permission is empowering. It allows you to break from your norm and be more than yourself.